Christians are straight up FREAKS
Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
