herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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