$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
