what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i barfeds in our rink
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
