We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
