Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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