Porn is love you can see.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
