I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize