i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
