I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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