it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
