Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
This house was built for laser tag.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
