Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
thus making me awesome and them whores
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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