I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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