Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
