they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
