Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
