He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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