we have pet lesbian snakes
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I think your dad took our porno
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
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