Come see our sink grown plant.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
