where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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