i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
