He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
