I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
