absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
