TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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