I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
