Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
