i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
If I had your ass I would rule the world
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
