He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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