That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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