She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
