It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
