So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
