when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
