My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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