the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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