I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
