You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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