But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
