just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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