week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
