And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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