I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
