Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
