Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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