And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Randomize
