New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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