real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
i believe in u and ur pee
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
