brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I think my moral compass just broke
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