i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
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