I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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