I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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