Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
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At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
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"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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