i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I am spending my child support on dildos
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Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
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We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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