When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
