Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
