I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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