Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
