Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
