There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You can't just leave with hair like that
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
