I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
