is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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