i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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