Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Randomize
